Absconded Reflections

 The sun crests the lingering clouds of the season, kissing down golden light upon this once former battleground.

People surround me, emerged in the joys of the daily act of living. Lone travelers watching their dogs play with reckless bliss; burgeoning couples strolling in the late afternoon hoping to find more of themselves in each other; lost poets preaching to the already abandoned. 

A police siren cascades down Tremont. A second follows soon.

I miss the city. I miss this life, this energy, this chaos. The sounds of thousands compounded into a single, cacophonous melody.

I sit and watch the squirrels run amok over a dropped hot dog. The sun cuts through the clouds and warms my face.

    This bench is the isle of sanctuary I haven't had in such a time.

And then there you are. Sublime bliss and badassery embodied as you always have been. You casually gaunt across the pathway as if you were the sole soul striding across this route. 

You haven't changed a bit. Your devilish grin and crippling eyes are just as I remember them. I am completely undone... yet again.

You reach out your arms for a hug, a relic and a remembrance of years passed and years amassed. I accept your embrace and am immediately taken back to a different time, a different me, a different life. Lo, what could have been.

We stroll idly through the streets that have become home. Streets I've alway known but never understood until I emerged myself in them. 

    The sunlight glimpses off your now golden hair as we pass State Street. You're filling me in on the years past and I'm stuck, hanging on every word you say. It feels like the past is merging with a day dream.

Sitting across from you, squinting through the darkness of a proper Boston pub, I'm transported back to a different time. A time where we laughed and cried and existed in unison... the best times of my life. Your sardonic grin never ceases to amaze me and break me and make me wish for a life that never was. If only....

I say goodbye to you. Sadly I'm familiar with this experience. But it never gets any easier. In fact it only gets harder. The sounds of the city on the weekend resonate around us and yet all I can hear is your voice, saying goodbye. Once again.

I ride my old train, hit up my old neighborhood on my way back to my car. You are the only thought I have. You always have been. I step out of the train, the cool spring air caressing my face as I pause... lost in fog.

You are always a part of me. I wish I could be more.